Welcome to the first weekly country power rankings where we will rank all of the 195ish countries in the world, or at least some of them.
1. United States: Well, that was interesting. America holds on to the top spot due to its superior economy, military and innovation. If Anne Coulter gets appointed to the Supreme Court, I’ll reassess.
28. Canada: A Canadian diver found an unexploded nuclear bomb in the water off of British Columbia. The bomb was allegedly a dummy filled with lead meant for a US Airforce drill simulating a bomb drop on San Francisco so there is absolutely no reason to be concerned with nuclear bombs littering our waterways. No reason at all.
41. South Korea: Two former aides of South Korean President Park Geun-hye were charged with fraud in abuse of power. She also may have allowed for a cult to carry out rituals within the presidential palace. It seems that Geun-hye, the nation’s first female president, wishes that Donald Trump had beaten her in the elections.
85. Turkey: At least 10 Members of Parliament from the pro-Kurdish Peoples’ Democratic Party were arrested for failing to give testimony regarding “terrorist propaganda”. Turkey is a member of NATO and I’ll just leave this quote from the NATO charter here. “The Parties to this…are determined to safeguard the freedom, common heritage and civilization of their peoples, founded on the principles of democracy, individual liberty and the rule of law.”
103. Brazil: The federal government has frozen the bank accounts of the State of Rio de Janeiro. The country has been struggling due to falling commodity prices and the state has not paid public workers. Maybe hosting the Olympics and the World Cup WAS A TERRIBLE FRIGGEN IDEA! Brazil is a symbol of hope for the third world no more.