Weekly Election Update: Chuck Norris Counts to Infinity Twice

  • Yair Lapid had a good week as he smells the possibility of the premiership. First, with regards to Bibi-gates, he announced that after he became a politician he stopped accepting gifts. However, some would argue that Yitzhak Herzog’s unfailing determination to destroy the Labor party would count as the greatest present he has ever received. Lapid also announced that he is in negotiations with Gabi Ashkenazi and Moshe Ya’alon to join Yesh Atid. If either joins, YA would gain a security specialist that every party must have in order to be considered seriously.
  • On the scandal front, it doesn’t seem that gift-gate is going anywhere, though Netanyahu’s claim that he did not know about gifts given to his wife is at best specious and at worst a pretty damning picture of their marriage. If anyone would like to give my wife champagne and jewelry in support of Kalpi that would be alright with me.
  • Defense Minister Avigdor Lieberman, who has Hardy Boy level experience with investigations, said that the Prime Minister should not step down if indicted. Lieberman also spoke out against the Arrangement Law saying that it doesn’t help Jewish towns in the West Bank. Lieberman, who lives in Nokdim, carries a bit more clout when talking about settlements than those who live in fancy houses in Ranana and Caesarea.
  • Tzipi Livni has been asked to take a senior position at the UN. If she joins, it will be her 5th party in 5 elections. It is unclear what affect this will have on the Labor party. However, if Shelly Yachimovitch (who is running for the head of the Histadrut) and Tzipi Livni leave the Zionist Union it will mean that the party will be without its two most prominent female members.
  • MK Moshe Gafni insisted that religious people should have the right to settle legal disputes in rabbinical courts. Gafni said that he didn’t want the Knesset to become a place which prevents people from doing what they desire just because of their religious worldviews. Hmmmmm…
  • Dramatic Irony: Noun: “a literary technique, originally used in Greek tragedy, by which the full significance of a character’s words or actions are clear to the audience or reader although unknown to the character.”
  • In non-serious news, Bibi met with noted military expert Chuck Norris and produced the most entertaining video of week and one enthusiastic Knesset aid took Kalpi’s post about legalizing marijuana use very seriously.


Totally precise and not arbitrary election date: February 6, 2018 (HaBayit HaYehudi will be the ones to collapse the coalition and will do so in the name of the settlements)

Winner: Likud. If Lapid gets Ashkenazi or Ya’alon, I’m putting YA back in the driver’s seat. I think that Ashkenazi would be more effective at pulling left wing voters though as Ya’alon was a so-so defense minister.

Runner Up: Yesh Atid.

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